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Winnipeg. Female. One time I touched John Green's crotch.


My url is based on this xkcd comic.


Ask me things.

Him: How many people are on the planet?
Me: About 7 billion, why?
Him: Because of all the 7 billion people on the planet, there's no one I'd rather have in my bed with me right now.

besturlonhere:

proud-republican:

We need to find a way to get Reagan back!
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the republican strategy for 2016 is literal necromancy

besturlonhere:

proud-republican:

We need to find a way to get Reagan back!

Follow us on the Facebook

the republican strategy for 2016 is literal necromancy


humansofnewyork:

"People have been waving at me lately. I think my daughter may have put my picture on The Facebook."

humansofnewyork:

"People have been waving at me lately. I think my daughter may have put my picture on The Facebook."


Tourist: Could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
New Yorker: Go up the street a little more and then make a right and it should be on your left.
Tourist: Thanks
New Yorker: Have a nice dinner.

humansofnewyork:

"What’s your favorite thing about your mother?""She loves life more than anyone I’ve ever known. I hope she doesn’t mind me telling you this, but recently she’s had some health problems. And her health got so bad at one point, she called me and said: ‘I was starting to wonder if there was any reason to go on. But then I had the most delicious pear!’"

humansofnewyork:

"What’s your favorite thing about your mother?"
"She loves life more than anyone I’ve ever known. I hope she doesn’t mind me telling you this, but recently she’s had some health problems. And her health got so bad at one point, she called me and said: ‘I was starting to wonder if there was any reason to go on. But then I had the most delicious pear!’"


humansofnewyork:

"I built this book cart after my bagpipes got stolen, because I couldn’t afford a new set of bagpipes, and I needed to support myself. I used to sell teddy bears too. But one day last year, three undercover policeman showed up and took me to jail. It was just like a TV show— one was dressed like a rapper, the other like a hooker, and the other like a tourist. They said you need a permit to sell manufactured goods. You’re allowed to sell art, just not manufactured goods. I tried to tell them that my teddy bears were art because I dressed them and customized them. But all they said was: ‘You’re going to jail.’ I had to spend 2 days in jail. The judge threw out the case. But they never gave me back my teddy bears."

humansofnewyork:

"I built this book cart after my bagpipes got stolen, because I couldn’t afford a new set of bagpipes, and I needed to support myself. I used to sell teddy bears too. But one day last year, three undercover policeman showed up and took me to jail. It was just like a TV show— one was dressed like a rapper, the other like a hooker, and the other like a tourist. They said you need a permit to sell manufactured goods. You’re allowed to sell art, just not manufactured goods. I tried to tell them that my teddy bears were art because I dressed them and customized them. But all they said was: ‘You’re going to jail.’ I had to spend 2 days in jail. The judge threw out the case. But they never gave me back my teddy bears."


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